Me and the Wr. Wolf...Heh... Omelette? Well, to be honest: that was the reason I was going to my grandma that day with pancakes. We had our own chicken and used to have eggs from those every day. One day I received a bicycle for my birthday. It costed a lot of money so my dad sold all the chicken to be able to buy it. From that day on we had to get our eggs from a farmer in the neighbourhood. I loved to do that because I could use my new bicycle for that. Now, after buying the bike there wasn't enough money left to buy a pump with a manometer. So we bought a cheap one - no meter - and probably inflated the tyres to much. As a result the tyres were so hard that the eggs all broke under way because of the rough road. (In my country they use this technique nowadays to test bicycle roads if they need to be repaired: they make someone ride around with a box filled with eggs. The road that turns most eggs into omelette needs the fastest repair. That's why we call it the 'omelette-test'...). So every time I came home with eggs, they were broken and my mother had to find a way to use them. Because
bbonzz was still at school learning to code accounting programs in Basic with only 'if-then' commands, she didn't know how to make Pizza... So our lunches and dinners were composed of pancakes those days... Sometimes - when my tyres were freshly pumped - there were so many broken eggs that resulted in to much pancakes that we couldn't eat them ourselves. Then my mother put them in a basket and and send me to my grandma. It was a long way trough the forest, but I used to drop small pieces of pancake along the way so I could find my way back easily. I omitted to ask a copyright for that and later it appeared someone else used this same technique in another story. (But they were so stupid to use pieces of bread and the birds - tired from eating so many pancakes - ate the pieces of bread... so they couldn't find their way back...). Anyway, when I arrived at grandma's house, I saw a wolf lying on the bed. Of course I knew it was a wolf - I'm not stupid - and I saw he was hungry. I think grandma had noticed the wolf just in time because when I entered the bedroom I saw her hiding under the bed where the wolf was doing his show. I noticed before grandma and granddad had become somewhat 'chubby' lately because of all those pancakes I brought them, so I thought it wouldn't be a waste to give my pancakes to the wolf... He looked really hungry! He liked them very much. I just planned to ask him if he wanted some marmalade or sugar, when the door swung open and grandpa came in. Grandpa probably read the wrong story and thought the wolf had eaten grandma. I told him it were only pancakes but a wolf eating his pancakes only made grandpa more angry and he grabbed his rifle and shot the wolf. Now, grandpa's eyes aren't so good any more, so he missed the wolf and shot grandma under the bed by accident (or wasn't it?). My grandma died within a second. That's why I call her 'Mommy' since then. (
Because she is a 'Mom' and because of the Egyptian way of keeping the dead. Someone should post that as another meaning of 'Mommy' on wiki...) Ow, am I off-topic again? Right. So there we were: me and the wolf and two dead bodies. (Yes, my grandpa died also, but that's a long story and I tend to get bored from long stories...) ok. The wolf was so kind to help me dump the bodies of my grandma and dad into the pool behind their house (they could be used later in one or another
crime investigation TV series, where they are font about recovering bodies from a pool). As a return I told the wolf the address of our egg-selling farmer, and didn't mind to answer him when he asked me if there were other animals beside chicken on that farm. When I said there were not much apart from Three Little Pigs, he just smiled, waved goodbye, and said I would read more stories about him in the future... Last thing I remember is the way he gave me a quick kiss before he left. It felt more like a bite to me but I didn't bother very much that time.
Nowadays you can find me riding my bike trough the forest right after midnight... turning vampires into pancakes!
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