Book reviews by Mobilism's Book Review team
Jul 22nd, 2021, 2:54 am
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TITLE: The Unspoken Name (The Serpent Gates #1)
AUTHOR: A.K. Larkwood
GENRE: Fantasy
PUBLISHED: February 11, 2020
RATING: ★★★

PURCHASE LINKS: Amazon
MOBILISM LINK: Mobilism

Some say that “style is everything,” but I like to think that isn’t true. Style is important, sure, but there’s more to something than just its style. When I’m reading a story, the style in which it’s written is a hook and an enticement to keep going, but there’s more to stories than just style: things like characters, plot, worldbuilding, and themes.

Still, there’s no denying that style goes a long way towards making sure that all those other elements are presented in their best light. Much like the correct application of varnish or beeswax can bring out the inherent beauty of a piece of wood, writing style can mean the difference between an absorbing read, or a bland one.

This is something that comes into play in the novel The Unspoken Name, first in The Serpent Gates series by A.K. Larkwood. It tells the story of Csorwe, a young woman who has lived most of her life as the Chosen Bride: an oracle, but also a sacrifice for a god known as the Unspoken One. Raised in the House of Silence, she has always known her fate, and she wants nothing more than to meet it with the same calm and dignity as those who have gone before her.

But, on the day of her sacrifice, she is offered a choice: go meekly to her death, or flee it and forge a life of her own. The decision Csorwe makes, in that moment, ripples out into the world, shaping not just her destiny, but the destinies of others as well.

Right from the get-go, the issue with writing style becomes very apparent. Past the first chapter, the writing just does not grab me, does not hold my attention for very long. It feels distant and almost apathetic, instead of scintillating and vibrant. To be sure, it functions well enough to convey a story, but it’s certainly not something that grabbed me and held my attention, so to speak. This is a quality that is difficult to convey in quotes, because it would take reading at least the first two or three chapters to really get a feel for it, but it is there, and it affects the rest of the novel in a way that is guaranteed to make readers put the novel down and not pick it up again.

This means, therefore, that any reader who wants to read the novel through needs to work a little harder to find and hang onto the things that are actually interesting. Now, there is nothing wrong with books that make the reader work a little harder for payoff, but the work needs to at least be interesting, and the payoff needs to be worth the effort. Sadly, that’s not quite what is delivered here, and four elements of the novel become victims of the writing style.

The first victim of this is the setting. Initially, the setting strikes one as quite interesting, promising the reader great delights ahead. Take the following excerpt, for example:
Gradually, her sight returned, and she gazed out at the Maze, as if by gazing she could make sense of it. They stood on a ledge above the place where a steep valley dropped away, down and down, out of reach of light. Pillars and arches of rock massed in the darkness, like misshapen brides, veiled and wreathed with mist. Fragments of sky like pieces of eggshell were visible in places, though not the places one usually saw the sky.

...

At times they stopped, and Csorwe slept. Once they saw a far-off mazeship passing through: the hull of polished maze-oak, and the sail canopies belling above the hull like a growth of mushrooms. Up close, it would have been the grandest and brightest thing Csorwe had ever seen, but the mists of the Maze dulled its pennants, and it passed in oblivious silence.

Unfortunately, things only go downhill from there, as the wonder in the prose peters out into a certain flatness that seems to mute the wonder one senses in the above excerpt. One would think it difficult to call a setting “drab” when it portrays multiple worlds connected to one another via planar gates, and where the relationship between magic, mortals, and the gods follows some interesting transactional rules, and yet that was precisely what I was thinking as the story progressed, the wonder of the Maze of Echoes worn off after the second chapter. I was uninterested in discovering more about this world and in learning about how magic worked within it vis-a-vis the many cultures and gods that appeared to exist within it.

The second victim of the writing style is the characterization. While reading the first chapter one might find it easy to latch onto Csorwe and her plight, rightly assuming that something fascinating is on the horizon for her, but the subsequent chapters dull all of that promise. There are moments when she is interesting, but they are few and far between, especially in the first half of the novel. To say this is a pity is something of an understatement, especially given that Csorwe is the protagonist and therefore ought to be one of the anchors on which this entire novel is grounded.

It is actually two of the secondary characters that stand out: Talasseres “Tal” Charossa, and Oranna. Tal is the sort of character I would normally dislike, but given that he’s the only one of two characters that elicit any kind of feeling except “blah” in me while I’m reading this novel, that makes him a standout – as does the fact that he is a lot more complex than the reader is initially led to believe. The same can be said about Oranna, whose role in the novel turns out to be rather larger than one might think at first. She is not necessarily a character I dislike, but she’s a lot more complicated than that; it’s hard to describe her in the simple terms of “like” and “dislike”. The fact that neither of these two characters is the protagonist, and yet somehow manage to outshine said protagonist, is not a very good sign of how said protagonist is portrayed.

The writing style’s third victim is the plot: both the main plot and the romance subplot that I have seen so frequently lauded in other reviews. I am the sort of reader who’s quite happy to have a plot slowly unfold for me, to follow multiple digressions before being led back to the main storyline at hand – provided, of course, the author is good at handling those plots and keeping them coherent. I am also the kind of reader who doesn’t mind a romance in any novel I happen to be reading – provided that it’s handled well, and doesn’t cause any other aspect of the novel to suffer. Unfortunately, while the author appears to have no problem keeping multiple plot threads going in a way that’s easy to grasp, and appears to be able to write a romance quite well, the writing style makes both the main plot and the romance seem mildly insipid for three-fourths of the novel, only becoming really interesting in the latter fourth.

Finally, the writing style’s fourth victim is the novel’s themes. Csorwe’s story is one about making a choice: whether to simply accept one’s duty, or to flee from it, and accept the consequences of that decision later. It is also about making choices for others: whether one ought to force them on someone else because one thinks one’s perspective is right, or if it would be better to simply let them be, even if one disagrees with the other person’s decision. It asks questions about the kind of power a person is allowed to wield over another, as well as how that power ought, or ought not, to be used. But, as with the setting and the characters and the plot, any exploration of these themes is dulled by the way the entire novel is written.

As might be obvious by now, there’s truly something wonderful in this novel. The world, the characters, the plot, the themes – all have immense promise. But sadly, they are all smothered by the writing style, which muffles and dims the parts that ought to be memorable and striking. There are stories, of course, that suit such dry and deadpan delivery, but that style does not serve this novel well at all. Where the reader ought to be drawn in close to the characters, ought to inhabit the setting, ought to be moved by the plot or ponder upon the themes, they are instead set back at a distance, observing everything with dispassion. This is not exactly something I want to feel from a fantasy novel, and I’m sure there are plenty of other readers who would agree.

Overall, The Unspoken Name is a novel with immense potential, but one that is hampered by a writing style that dulls its brilliance, thus creating an undesirable distance between the reader and the novel’s other key elements. This will likely put off many readers who will not see the novel through to the end – and unfortunately, they may have the right of it.
Jul 22nd, 2021, 2:54 am
Jul 22nd, 2021, 12:28 pm
I can finish nearly any book but this one just felt like I was dragging my feet in the mud after the time-skip. I think you caught all the issues with it.

The first third of the book is all a reference to the 2nd book of Earthsea (Tombs of Atuan) and once that fizzles out, it all fizzles out.
Jul 22nd, 2021, 12:28 pm
Jul 23rd, 2021, 2:42 pm
PrinceOfBooks wrote:I can finish nearly any book but this one just felt like I was dragging my feet in the mud after the time-skip. I think you caught all the issues with it.

The first third of the book is all a reference to the 2nd book of Earthsea (Tombs of Atuan) and once that fizzles out, it all fizzles out.

Gosh, but it really was a slog, wasn't it? I really wanted to like it, but...blah. And I hadn't realized that the first third was a reference to Tombs of Atuan, but now that you mention it, yes, yes it does! It's unfortunate the author's prose does not sing quite so beautifully as Le Guin's.
Jul 23rd, 2021, 2:42 pm

I have only two wishes. The first is for strong coffee, and the second is for stronger coffee. - Jean Tannen, from Republic of Thieves, by Scott Lynch
Aug 20th, 2021, 5:36 am
I too did not finish this book, the first part of the story was interesting but then it really really did go downhill agree with the review hundred percent
Aug 20th, 2021, 5:36 am
Aug 20th, 2021, 12:49 pm
This is an overarching problem with a lot of modern novels nowadays. We have reached the point where media depicts a lot of stories–and people struggle with being original. I 100% agree with your description of the downhill spiral being mute and explicitly disappointing. The lack of character development arcs/chapters didn't really help either. Would rate this book a 2.5/5 honestly.
Aug 20th, 2021, 12:49 pm
Aug 22nd, 2021, 10:46 am
nfrnDNNEebFhNX wrote:I too did not finish this book, the first part of the story was interesting but then it really really did go downhill agree with the review hundred percent

Thanks for agreeing with me - and I congratulate you on your ability to walk away from a book when it stops being interesting. I've kind of gotten it trained into me to really finish a book even if I don't like it (thanks academia!), so I kind of envy you that ability.

But yeah: this book was definitely a slog after a certain point. Which is a pity, because there was so much potential here but it all just went up in smoke.
Aug 22nd, 2021, 10:46 am

I have only two wishes. The first is for strong coffee, and the second is for stronger coffee. - Jean Tannen, from Republic of Thieves, by Scott Lynch
Aug 22nd, 2021, 10:49 am
VickyDane wrote:This is an overarching problem with a lot of modern novels nowadays. We have reached the point where media depicts a lot of stories–and people struggle with being original. I 100% agree with your description of the downhill spiral being mute and explicitly disappointing. The lack of character development arcs/chapters didn't really help either. Would rate this book a 2.5/5 honestly.

I admit I was being a bit generous with the rating, mostly because I can see what the author was trying to do. It's just...they didn't quite stick the landing, you know? So I kind of want to give them points for where they were trying to get to, even as I docked points for not being able to get there.
Aug 22nd, 2021, 10:49 am

I have only two wishes. The first is for strong coffee, and the second is for stronger coffee. - Jean Tannen, from Republic of Thieves, by Scott Lynch
Sep 19th, 2021, 9:50 pm
This one just keepssitting on my shelf. the cover is so pretty! Thanks for reviewing! :D
Sep 19th, 2021, 9:50 pm