Are Women the Stronger Sex by Josette Sona is awesome. I keep referring to it because there's hardly a day that goes by when something or someone doesn't remind me of it!
A very hard topic, The one I have read the most - The White Company by Arthur Conan Doyle fell to bits For Action - Close Quarters Book by Larry Heinemann Fantasy - Daughter of the Empire by Raymond E Feist Horror - The Dark by by James Herbert